This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i will never coherently bang her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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