I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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