i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
