i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
