nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think your dad took our porno
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
