Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
