When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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