Taylor Swift is so right about you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
