I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
