New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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