Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize