I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
