there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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