Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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