I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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