Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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