ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
