People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
