Porn is love you can see.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you made out with another girl for some wings
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
