PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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