dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
