I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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