My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
