He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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