hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
