things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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