I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize