we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
