just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
