Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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