I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
