he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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