I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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