well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
