dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
