I need help removing her.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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