obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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