Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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