I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
worst night to have a conscience
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
