Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
