i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
