He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize