I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want nice things and good sex
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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