Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
