this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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