I wish I only lived at night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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