Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
