HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I smell like Dick and happiness
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
