Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Come on in and take your pants off
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