I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize