So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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