so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
