she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The air taste purple.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
