one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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