last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
