Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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