I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
