he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
