Im at strip club and am horny
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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